oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
