the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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