this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Randomize
