You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
soo... how was my night?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
