I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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