So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
