oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
