lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
