Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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