There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Brb crying the tears of my youth
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Randomize