is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
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