honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize