i just wanna soil my oats bro
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
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