Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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