I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
