these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
