You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
