I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
All I want is dick and wine.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
