There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
