loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
