WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
