i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
it glows. i had to have it.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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