Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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