Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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