I'm drive I can fine osifer
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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