The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
