how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
