Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
