My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
