did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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