Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
