I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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