I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize