oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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