i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
tell me about the fingering
Randomize