he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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