your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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