may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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