Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
