you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
