He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
