i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
