He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
