And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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