Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(718): View more from New York

You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.

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(970): View more from Colorado

I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina

Fav 100 6922 2625
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(707): View more from California

I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow

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(330): View more from Ohio

French fry pizza

(502): View more from Kentucky

Are you brilliant or just really high?

(330): View more from Ohio

Can't it be both?

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(201): View more from New Jersey

what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.

Fav 4 1093 849
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(757): View more from Virginia

i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...

Fav 19 2388 989
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(773): View more from Illinois

She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.

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(540): View more from Virginia

Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same

Fav 0 38 14
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