1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I intend to get homeless drunk
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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