I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
