insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
