I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I need to calm my uterus...
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
