Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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