ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
