she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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