period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
you inspire me to be a worse person
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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