i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
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