did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
