This gyro tastes like lonliness
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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