it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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