i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize