ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
