i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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