Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
